Grateful for My Mother's Love

Every year, I have the opportunity to reflect upon the love I have received from my mother. We rarely recall our early years; instead, other recount them to us. My father used to tell me about how nervous my mother was when as an infant, and I didn't gain any weight for the first 6 months. He would tell me about how many times a day she would weigh me to see if I had gained even an ounce or two. How funny that sounds as an adult when I have to be on the look out for excess weight, rather than worry about not gaining weight.

We change so much over the course of time, but one thing remains constant, the love we receive from our mothers. My mother has always been a hard worker, dedicated to any job or task that she undertakes. Like her, I find myself happiest when I am at work in the right way, busy making improvements in my life or those of others.

While my mother chose nursing, I chose teaching--both professions where women have historically made improvements to their lives and others: physically, emotionally, spiritually, and in an integrated manner.

This year, as I celebrate Mother's Day, I appreciate my mother's personal and professional vocations. She raised me to be a strong and capable woman, and to encourage the same interdependence in others.

My mother's days are busy caring for my father, now no longer capable of wheeling about in the house.  Both Mom (second from the right) and Aunt Lee (second from the left) were educated and worked in nursing. Pictured on the left is the newest mother in our family, Cousin Terri and her little girl Natalie (the youngest member of the Whiteside family) with Dad and Terri's sister Kellie on the right.

Setting Aside Judgment

Facing problems drives our focus in ways that may lead to achievement, to results we that make us proud; however, the dichotomy of sorting through life in terms of problems, solutions, and results may lead to viewing life as a battle. In that battle, we may take on the role of hero. The hero's victory is sweet, driving the choice to continue viewing vicissitudes and set backs as difficulties. The other choice is to see life as a journey and to withhold judgment about the experiences we work through with equanimity.

We cannot control all of the circumstances we face, but we do choose our response to them. Setting aside our judgment of those events allows us to retain our cool composure, rather than entering into the combat mode needed by the potential hero. True--sometimes, we must fight injustice. Our inner warrior then rises up to make us strong at the right time. We can limit those battles and our fatigue if we approach more of life without the categories of problems and solutions. Being present and dealing with the momentary concerns, rather than imaging the outcome of the future and constantly fighting our way towards it, we can find a gentle calmness and ease during times of distress.

Let it go and let it flow could serve as a motto during times when we feel ourselves designing strategies to beat the odds, to gain another victory. Instead of facing problems, we enjoy and savor the moment with a view to find the good that it holds.

I am reminded of a Zen story about a man being chased by a tiger. Racing away from the beast, the man reaches the edge of the land and falls. Quickly, he grasps a vine from the side of the cliff, yet it provides only temporary respite. Above him looms the tiger, below a deadly abyss. Looking up the man sees some perfectly ripe grapes on the vine. He plucks one and savors it. His last word, "delicious."

Beauty is all around as the Navajo chant reminds us: above and below, to the left and to the right, before and behind, around and within. Do we see the beautiful and good life always present to us? Ordinary beauty lurks unrecognized when the shining role of the conquering hero triumphs in the imagination. If our eyes adjust to the less brilliant sights of daily life, we may gain the imagination needed to provide stamina for the journey.

Monday after the Super Bowl

I didn't watch the entire Super Bowl, but tuned in for some parts that showed the fun of the game and its excitement. I saw that disgusting Old Milwaukee Beer commercial and wondered again why people choose that brand. I saw only one Clydesdale ad. My Facebook friends posted their fondness for the  young Clydesdale, even describing tearing up at the foal's cuteness.

Sports and consumerism, a cocktail for America's pleasure, a Sunday of relaxation and good times. We all need a break from the daily drive of our lives and find these culminating moments of sports competitions full of the best medicine that doesn't come from a physician's prescription.

Life can be unpredictable, but it is more often exactly as we anticipate with little deviation from the routine of work, meals, daily hygiene and household cleaning, conversations and interactions, amusement from entertainment, transportation, and sleep. These ordinary events make life good and provide comfort in themselves; however, the fun that comes from something that only happens once a year, a holiday or a Super Bowl is a lovely time to break free, kick back, relax, cheer, drink beer, and be a part of something besides our personal and regular lives.

No, the Super Bowl is not on par with the dramatic and religious festivals that brought together the ancient Athenians. Although less exalted and far more excessive, our American Super Bowls satisfy our need for communal sport and catharsis. Congratulations Ravens! Better luck next time 49ers!

Saturday Symposium

I am ready to take 7 students to SMU's and the Rotary Club's International Peace Symposium today. I hope we learn something that helps us contribute to peace not only at the global level, but also at the local level. These great projects often have small beginnings. We form relationships one-to-one and extend those friendships as we continue to extend ourselves and call upon our best intentions. Not that we are models of perfection, but we are on a journey to a better place for ourselves and those we love. We travel one step at a time, or as we do today--by van. Happy trails to all who aim for peace here and abroad. They are called blessed, yet their contributions bless us all.

New Faces and Beginnings

One of the best parts about teaching at a community college is meeting so many new people at the start of every semester. Seeing familiar faces is gratifying too. Beginnings of the semester are great, what a colleague of mine used to call "the honeymoon period." As the semester moves forward, some of those students will become more committed to their studies and find their talents and capacities for sustained work will take them even further in life than they imagined. Others will begin to waiver and face self-doubt. It's striking to see that failure comes from within, from fear that overtakes students able to accomplish the tasks, yet unable to see themselves as successful. I could almost agree with Hamlet that the mind is its own place, able to make a heaven of hell and vice versa when I experience the same kind of self-criticism that is destructive, rather than helpful.

Each day requires belief of some kind for envisioning happiness as ours. We enter into circumstances that only appear to shape us, when in fact, it's our response to what's happening to us that shapes our characters and our destinies. If we are to see the seeds blossom, to move from beginnings to happy endings, we must look within to find a love and compassion for ourselves and others that is greater than our self-doubt, our fears, and all our worries about what might happen if we're not "good enough."

No, we don't simply choose. We abide, take root, grow, and discover our true self in that larger self that is divine and more capable and consistently present in caring for us than we can ever be. Receiving grace daily nourishes and provides strength to meet challenges as they come. Generative, constructive, creative power lifts our hope, which does not fail.

It's been a couple of years since I played with this blog. I wonder about the new dashboard and how the technical parts of posting work. I hope to play around with the blog and maybe even have something to say now and then. Until that time, here's a promise that I plan to get around to having something worth writing about.

We're back to a fresh year and new semester tomorrow at Grayson College. It's been a valuable break spending time with my family and helping with recommending cut scores for the new computer adaptive TSI for students still needing to show college-readiness scores when they apply to college. I feel great to be back home and ready to meet familiar and new students in the morning.

Long Island

I'm enjoying my visit to my parents in Morrisville, PA. Today, we're with my sister and her family in West Islip. The children are playing Wii. Jessica has invited me to play, but I was too slow to say "yes." Now, she's moved on to offering to help her mother with preparing the brussel sprouts. Jessica is checking out my posting. Neither of us knows how to spell the sprouts' first name. Mark, Jr. wants to know if he's in the posting. He doesn't want to be included. Now Kristin is playing Wii ping pong. It looks as if she's having fun although the moves with the Wii stick don't look like the same moves one would make with an actual ping pong paddle. I'm curious about the Wii yoga.