Grateful for My Mother's Love

Every year, I have the opportunity to reflect upon the love I have received from my mother. We rarely recall our early years; instead, other recount them to us. My father used to tell me about how nervous my mother was when as an infant, and I didn't gain any weight for the first 6 months. He would tell me about how many times a day she would weigh me to see if I had gained even an ounce or two. How funny that sounds as an adult when I have to be on the look out for excess weight, rather than worry about not gaining weight.

We change so much over the course of time, but one thing remains constant, the love we receive from our mothers. My mother has always been a hard worker, dedicated to any job or task that she undertakes. Like her, I find myself happiest when I am at work in the right way, busy making improvements in my life or those of others.

While my mother chose nursing, I chose teaching--both professions where women have historically made improvements to their lives and others: physically, emotionally, spiritually, and in an integrated manner.

This year, as I celebrate Mother's Day, I appreciate my mother's personal and professional vocations. She raised me to be a strong and capable woman, and to encourage the same interdependence in others.

My mother's days are busy caring for my father, now no longer capable of wheeling about in the house.  Both Mom (second from the right) and Aunt Lee (second from the left) were educated and worked in nursing. Pictured on the left is the newest mother in our family, Cousin Terri and her little girl Natalie (the youngest member of the Whiteside family) with Dad and Terri's sister Kellie on the right.

Setting Aside Judgment

Facing problems drives our focus in ways that may lead to achievement, to results we that make us proud; however, the dichotomy of sorting through life in terms of problems, solutions, and results may lead to viewing life as a battle. In that battle, we may take on the role of hero. The hero's victory is sweet, driving the choice to continue viewing vicissitudes and set backs as difficulties. The other choice is to see life as a journey and to withhold judgment about the experiences we work through with equanimity.

We cannot control all of the circumstances we face, but we do choose our response to them. Setting aside our judgment of those events allows us to retain our cool composure, rather than entering into the combat mode needed by the potential hero. True--sometimes, we must fight injustice. Our inner warrior then rises up to make us strong at the right time. We can limit those battles and our fatigue if we approach more of life without the categories of problems and solutions. Being present and dealing with the momentary concerns, rather than imaging the outcome of the future and constantly fighting our way towards it, we can find a gentle calmness and ease during times of distress.

Let it go and let it flow could serve as a motto during times when we feel ourselves designing strategies to beat the odds, to gain another victory. Instead of facing problems, we enjoy and savor the moment with a view to find the good that it holds.

I am reminded of a Zen story about a man being chased by a tiger. Racing away from the beast, the man reaches the edge of the land and falls. Quickly, he grasps a vine from the side of the cliff, yet it provides only temporary respite. Above him looms the tiger, below a deadly abyss. Looking up the man sees some perfectly ripe grapes on the vine. He plucks one and savors it. His last word, "delicious."

Beauty is all around as the Navajo chant reminds us: above and below, to the left and to the right, before and behind, around and within. Do we see the beautiful and good life always present to us? Ordinary beauty lurks unrecognized when the shining role of the conquering hero triumphs in the imagination. If our eyes adjust to the less brilliant sights of daily life, we may gain the imagination needed to provide stamina for the journey.